I just talked with a fellow january. It's hilarious when you talk about somethings you don't understand. We came to this randomly: We are at a boarding school. I eat here, sleep here, live here, can't leave here, and pay to be here. Realization can be hilarious.
I never thought I would go to a boarding school. Ever. Thought Tibet was too cold.
I enjoy HA. Don't get me wrong. God called me here. I will look for Him here, because He is here. Just a fun realization.
HA UPDATE!!
Ok. Long while since I updated. Current: Week of the Ring. THe week we celebrate to get our rings of honor, symbolizing our commitment to a lifestyle of honor. Pretty fancy huh? The ring is very cool. The principles are good, but I won't forget why Im doing it (JESUS!).
Hmmm...We had a talk today about "appearance of evil" and hugs. I didnt say a word to the speaker, but I sure did in my head. Appearance of evil: hanging around someone tooo much. For quality time people: your toast when making opposite gender friends. haha. And for some reason, most of the female friends I make here are indeed...quality time. Hugs. The havent outlawed frontal hugs, but you can be confronted if it looks like your getting too involved....I thought "my foot I will let it get there". What most of the people who complain fail to realize is this: Most of the people "guilty" of giving frontal hugs are physical touch love language. I am included. I say this "I know the difference between a hug from a friend, and a hug from someone who I like or likes me. There is a BIG difference in them". people ignore what I say, but thats their choice, as is mine to keep doing frontal hugs. I don't give them out all the time and when I do, it's never more than two to the same person that day. It's uncommon. Grow up and face the fact: Hugs can be read like a book! Some people are just gifted.
*sigh* food. I have eaten a variety of food here. Salmon, burgers, french toast, etc. some good, some not, some are drop dead amazing. I have stocked up on oreos and ramen. Life savers. My favorite candy is now Linder's White Chocolate with he smooth filling...like eating pudding cake. *shivers* so goood!
Work. Work here is not work. its free labor. haha. because we are considered a non-profit organization, we are called volunteers. Ha, i lauhg everytime I think about it. It's not very motivating and its monotonous (you try calling people who have no idea why your calling them for 8 hours...then we will sit and have coffee together). But its rewarding...to receive the few calls from people who are genuinely interested in the program. OH THE CONVERSATIONS ARE HILARIOUS! I talked to this one girl for 1 hour once. Best thing about it: it was considered work. I talked to this girl, interacted, asked about her school and so on. Refreshing.
SOW UPDATE
I am playing a lot. learning some coool chords, the importance of an amp over pedals. the importance of a delay pedal and metronome. learning creativity through simplicity from Paul Baloche (He is ADD by the way...very funny to watch him speak)
I don't practice as much as I should. I know, shoot me. But Im busy. They know I am busy. Everybody is busy. But its nice. I play when I can, practice for about 20 min. catch up on some sleep (regardless of what research says...you can catch up!) I sleep 8 hours over the course of a day. 6 at night, 2 after breakfast. its nice.
PEOPLE UPDATE
Zech (Zack) is here with me. Funny dude. Helped me mature a bunch. Very grateful, and he is very good at guitar. He understands a lot. Helped me solidify me view of "Amps over pedals". Amps are expensive, but less things to carry :) and better sound.
Zach (Zach) is my Acountability Partner. He and I have some great times of worship and share a lot of views. He encourages me and I him. He sleeps above me and I wake him up for breakfast every so often. We take naps in the room together as well. We eat ramen together too. And he drinks tea. SCORE!
Danny. He is the room leader. funny. He sleeps on a double mattress bed. I didnt know this until...two days ago. Its comfy. Im claiming it when the Augusts leave. :)
Kayla. She is leaving sooon :( Her family and her feel like God doesnt want her here. She feels hindered spiritually and is scared. So she is looking homeward. I would stop her, but I feel the Spirit saying no. SO I let her go. She leaves soon.
We are about to lose like...20 people in about 2 days. Its scary. Reaosn: $$$$$ funds are expensive and it scares people.
More updates later, LOVE YOU ALL!!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
the whispers in the dark awaken a lulled man
The events in todays society interest me. Homosexuality is an issue. Pornogrpahy is rampant (still). Christian women are becoming to accept Pornography as normal for men. Islam is rising. Makes you wonder what is wrong with our world, doesn't it?
Seeing how Islamic people become passionate to take over country's is shocking. What's more shocking to some of you, it's not new to the idea of Islam. Islam has been conquerring countries for centuries. What's new? My eyes have been opened to how its working. Islam is being passionate. They are offering services, like free burials in Uganda, and where do you think a poor person is going to go for a funeral? The Mosque. Where do you think they will attend service next? The mosque.
It gets worse. 16% of people in Uganda are Islamic. However in the Law school there, 90% are Islamic. In the communication school, 60% are Islamic.
How is this accomplished? Islam tells those to be passionate, and to do this or that for Allah, regardless the cost. What a scary thought when you think about it.
How ashamed I am. Passion is distorted by the enemy. He utilized its fulest potential and is leading nations astray. This is reality. This is what we are living in. This is war. How often I forget that we are at war. My eyes were blind to this whole matter, and I get the feeling many others are too.
When girls can be sold for $0.50 for a night just because they are poor...when Christians roar at a touchdown for football but will need a lot of encouragement to praise God for healing someone or a miraculous thing happened. We are passionless.
We had a pastor from Uganda come to us last night, and he is joining us tonight for our Fasting LTE Vow of Silence. He choose to come to us, paid his own way to see us, and preaches to us about passion. (so 99% of this...is his :] )
He tells of many things he sees in America: Spirit of Death, Obsession of the supernatural, the Church shying away form the supernatural, teens uninvolved with Christ, and much more. We all cried for youth to be more passionate about Christ, who redeems us from our sins and saved this world!
This past month has been incredible. Orange Block (the time leading up to the first LTE) was a pain! I couldnt enjoy sugar or Christian music, just worship. Worship is great unless you have only 3 albums, and listend to all of them 15 times over the first week...haha
But good news...its done! Im doing School of Worship. Learning how to create songs. Simple things to remember for worship songs vs normal songs!...actually i could use them for normal songs too haha.
My friends here...wow. They are slimming down in numbers. Not because they are friends, but my definition of a friend has changed. So, I honestly only have...*counting*...2 here lol. my AP and Kayla.
Work is ok. Not used to being on the phone for over 5 hours. haha. I can be personable, but shoo...This is a stretch haha.
Miss everyone in GA. LOVE YOU ALL!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY and remember who we are passionate for as Christians :)
*Listening to: Showbread - Nervosa*
Seeing how Islamic people become passionate to take over country's is shocking. What's more shocking to some of you, it's not new to the idea of Islam. Islam has been conquerring countries for centuries. What's new? My eyes have been opened to how its working. Islam is being passionate. They are offering services, like free burials in Uganda, and where do you think a poor person is going to go for a funeral? The Mosque. Where do you think they will attend service next? The mosque.
It gets worse. 16% of people in Uganda are Islamic. However in the Law school there, 90% are Islamic. In the communication school, 60% are Islamic.
How is this accomplished? Islam tells those to be passionate, and to do this or that for Allah, regardless the cost. What a scary thought when you think about it.
How ashamed I am. Passion is distorted by the enemy. He utilized its fulest potential and is leading nations astray. This is reality. This is what we are living in. This is war. How often I forget that we are at war. My eyes were blind to this whole matter, and I get the feeling many others are too.
When girls can be sold for $0.50 for a night just because they are poor...when Christians roar at a touchdown for football but will need a lot of encouragement to praise God for healing someone or a miraculous thing happened. We are passionless.
We had a pastor from Uganda come to us last night, and he is joining us tonight for our Fasting LTE Vow of Silence. He choose to come to us, paid his own way to see us, and preaches to us about passion. (so 99% of this...is his :] )
He tells of many things he sees in America: Spirit of Death, Obsession of the supernatural, the Church shying away form the supernatural, teens uninvolved with Christ, and much more. We all cried for youth to be more passionate about Christ, who redeems us from our sins and saved this world!
This past month has been incredible. Orange Block (the time leading up to the first LTE) was a pain! I couldnt enjoy sugar or Christian music, just worship. Worship is great unless you have only 3 albums, and listend to all of them 15 times over the first week...haha
But good news...its done! Im doing School of Worship. Learning how to create songs. Simple things to remember for worship songs vs normal songs!...actually i could use them for normal songs too haha.
My friends here...wow. They are slimming down in numbers. Not because they are friends, but my definition of a friend has changed. So, I honestly only have...*counting*...2 here lol. my AP and Kayla.
Work is ok. Not used to being on the phone for over 5 hours. haha. I can be personable, but shoo...This is a stretch haha.
Miss everyone in GA. LOVE YOU ALL!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY and remember who we are passionate for as Christians :)
*Listening to: Showbread - Nervosa*
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Sacrificing the dearest things
Its not as bad as the title sounds, I promise.
I was at Big Bend this weekend, its a mountainous region/national park in Texas. 5-10 mi from Mexican Border. Hiking up this mountain to the peak showed me many things. I first saw the beauty for God's creation. Seeing how he made the plants, how the trees form themselves in various ways, etc. The more I saw it, the more in awe I was finding myself in. A state of worship so to say.
Then somewhere on the peak, a revelation hit...We are in a post-flood world.
It's 100% true. The whole earth was once covered in a flood that destroyed everything. Death was laid on the entire earth with water. Destruction happened to the "good" creation God did.
Now here is where Im getting slammed in the face in more awe...we see the Earth and say, "God your so amazing for creating this." Yet its a post-flood world. What I'm getting at is a thing called "Life from Death". It's a cycle the Earth follows. Plants have to die to produce life, and by that its through fruit and seeds. The older generation must die to allow the next generation to thrive. It's a cycle/law(if you must call it a law) the Earth follows.
The creation we see is how God made something beauty from death. Wonderful isn't it? My God is so big and strong, that He made beauty from destruction. WHOA.
My God is not something to undermine. I have found myself being convicted more and more when I dont praise God. Oddly enough, its not because of worship...its that my view of worship was so narrow. Its not just songs. Its not just guitar or hymns, or a leader who has awesome hair or great stage presence. Its giving glory to God for who He is. And I dunno about your Bible, but mine starts off with my God being a Creator in Genesis 1.
But its even deeper than that.
I just have begun to realize the deeper meaning of "dying to myself, and taking up my cross". If I have to die, I have to sacrifice myself. My life is laid on the line to be killed, destroyed, befriended to death walking hand in hand down a field of flowers (you getting the picture?). It no longer is going to be the same. That is the nature of death. If someone dies, they no longer remain the same. Am I right? Is my grandfather going to stay my grandfather, well working and fine tuned? No. He turns to dirt. Change.
So change occurs through death. When we die to ourselves, we open ourselves to be changed by the same God who created beauty through the flood. We turn to dirt when we die. And through the Living water of Christ, we turn to clay. From there we are moldable and formable. God takes on the role of Creator yet again. We need the water to stay moldable, the Word of God. Without it, we become hard. So water needs to remain in the dirt to remain clay. No dirt, no water, no clay. No death, no Christ, no change.
I was at Big Bend this weekend, its a mountainous region/national park in Texas. 5-10 mi from Mexican Border. Hiking up this mountain to the peak showed me many things. I first saw the beauty for God's creation. Seeing how he made the plants, how the trees form themselves in various ways, etc. The more I saw it, the more in awe I was finding myself in. A state of worship so to say.
Then somewhere on the peak, a revelation hit...We are in a post-flood world.
It's 100% true. The whole earth was once covered in a flood that destroyed everything. Death was laid on the entire earth with water. Destruction happened to the "good" creation God did.
Now here is where Im getting slammed in the face in more awe...we see the Earth and say, "God your so amazing for creating this." Yet its a post-flood world. What I'm getting at is a thing called "Life from Death". It's a cycle the Earth follows. Plants have to die to produce life, and by that its through fruit and seeds. The older generation must die to allow the next generation to thrive. It's a cycle/law(if you must call it a law) the Earth follows.
The creation we see is how God made something beauty from death. Wonderful isn't it? My God is so big and strong, that He made beauty from destruction. WHOA.
My God is not something to undermine. I have found myself being convicted more and more when I dont praise God. Oddly enough, its not because of worship...its that my view of worship was so narrow. Its not just songs. Its not just guitar or hymns, or a leader who has awesome hair or great stage presence. Its giving glory to God for who He is. And I dunno about your Bible, but mine starts off with my God being a Creator in Genesis 1.
But its even deeper than that.
I just have begun to realize the deeper meaning of "dying to myself, and taking up my cross". If I have to die, I have to sacrifice myself. My life is laid on the line to be killed, destroyed, befriended to death walking hand in hand down a field of flowers (you getting the picture?). It no longer is going to be the same. That is the nature of death. If someone dies, they no longer remain the same. Am I right? Is my grandfather going to stay my grandfather, well working and fine tuned? No. He turns to dirt. Change.
So change occurs through death. When we die to ourselves, we open ourselves to be changed by the same God who created beauty through the flood. We turn to dirt when we die. And through the Living water of Christ, we turn to clay. From there we are moldable and formable. God takes on the role of Creator yet again. We need the water to stay moldable, the Word of God. Without it, we become hard. So water needs to remain in the dirt to remain clay. No dirt, no water, no clay. No death, no Christ, no change.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The colors merge and separate, a masterpiece painted by a true master
So my work supervisor almost died in the most hilarious ways. He's on a caffeine high. We got a milder coffee, which tends to have a higher caffeine content (I dunno why, ask God...its just that way). So, he's bouncing around on an office chair. Saying things like "This floor is attracting my body." "How did you mess this up? It goes Mon, Thurs, Friday, Tues, Wed, Sat...we dont work Saturday!!!" and the classic "Why are you here? GET OUT!! *then almost causes chair to fall backwards*) He has a slightly high pitched voice...so imagine that.
Work dragged, I cannot enjoy coffee for another week and a half :( sad day when you have two pounds of Starbucks coffee waiting to be out in your personal french press. Ah....coffee....and Im craving apple juice and ants on a log(the celery with peanut butter and raisins(sp?)) OH and ramen.........oh buddy ramen is good. Saves me when Im hungry.
So I will not be ashamed to ask this...care packages with Nutrigrain bars (oats and honey and cinnamon please :]) skittles, cheez-its, reeses, applesauce, and vanilla pudding (sugar ADDED!!! i will enjoy sugar!!!) but im dreaming now...hahha thats a LOT of things to send, and they arent always as cheap as they are here (the walmart lives off us interns. if we werent here, they would be broke. so they keep it low for us :])
WELL school of worship...so much fun! We have these Encouragement partners. they are Graduate Interns who strictly work for School of Worship, not Teen Mania. Its great. I have one of the worship leader dudes. He's "ambient". Im just grateful for such an opportunity.
God has been placing a second year on my heart, despite the hard things Im facing now. and He has been revealing much. This quote he gave me by far is one of the things that push me to go further "Its not abot what we face, but what He does through us." Wow...whenever we face something hard, we just have to keep pushing, keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how hard it is. When we are faithful with the little, God blesses us with much.
my splurge of insight for the post!!
How many of us run? Like actually distance? Honestly before I came here, the only running I did was to the bathroom and to the fridge. believe it or not, I broke my own records. 2 secs to the bathroom and 3.14 to the fridge (includes the cool slide pose).
Here...Im running daily. And I mean RUNNING! Like the people you see 4am everyday who run in the cold, ya those. I joined those crazy people when I became an intern. I admit it wasnt the greatest thing to do instead of sleep, but it was ok.
There have been days where Im running, and it hurts...so I stopped running and walked. Did this every day...and I found myself running less and less. I was confused, and just ignored it, thinking Im just tired. Oh and the days you run and its cold...it gets exciting when you cant feel your face. Like someone could slap you, and you wouldnt know except for the fact your face just turned a direction.(I was accidently hit) Yesterday, the death of my grandfather wasn't apparent. He was one to drive me to push, and I always would when I knew he was watching. It made me strong and feel accomplished. Well today, we had to run 3 mi. I couldnt finish 1 without stopping, so I just ran. Had a partner this time who encouraged me to push. So i pushed. Set small goals for myself to make it to. Once I passed them, Id say "Alright, a little further". he would tell me how great I was doing. And I kept pushing, giving it everything I got.
About the 2 mi...i knew I was at my end. I couldnt push, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other..thinking that God wants my flesh disciplined, not comfortable. So I pushed. and pushed. It hurt, my knees almost gave way. the hills we ran would make the burning in my thighs and calves explode. but I wouldnt stop. I kne wonce I would, i would never pick back up the pace...it was weird because it wasnt me saying that, it was the Holy Spirit saying "Push! Push! If you let up now, you will not know what it feels to have given it everything you got!" but it was in suggestion form. giving me the choice and power to act upon what was suggested.
I was on the last loop, and a thought came into my head.."Papa Jack...he pushed me...he is prob in heaven watching me push. Encouraging me from there to just push a bit more." This gave some inspiration. And singing a line from We Won't Be Quiet by David Crowder "No! No! No, No, No!" on the hills helped with pacing.
Needless to say, i didnt stop and I finished the 3 mi. Once I finished, I was wiped. I could barely walk, and breakfast never tasted SO GOOD!! :)
Then I thought something...Jesus and Papa Jack smiling. Having watched that I pushed and wouldn't quit. I cried a little and smiled. The realization that he was gone hit, but was met with such joy I couldnt be sad for long, because I knew he was proud. and Jesus was proud along with him.
How many times do we not push until everything we got is gone, and then some? Do we often lose sight of the reward that awaits us, great or small? I think we just forget what it means to push... just putting one foot in front of the other and not slowing down. How much more should we apply this to our lives in the spiritual sense? Pushing through hard times and seeking Jesus' face. Disciplining our bodies to do the Will of the Father. Loving those who just hurt us, instead of retailiating. Letting go of people we love, even though we know what they are doing is wrong or not beneficial. Tursting that the ones we love hear God for themselves, and will one day have to account for themselves and must grow some with only them and God. From experience, nothing beats the feeling of giving it your all and finishing. Its one I know I will experience many times, my last being my walk with Jesus when I see Him face to face and Im sobbing at the sight of how I didnt quit.
Work dragged, I cannot enjoy coffee for another week and a half :( sad day when you have two pounds of Starbucks coffee waiting to be out in your personal french press. Ah....coffee....and Im craving apple juice and ants on a log(the celery with peanut butter and raisins(sp?)) OH and ramen.........oh buddy ramen is good. Saves me when Im hungry.
So I will not be ashamed to ask this...care packages with Nutrigrain bars (oats and honey and cinnamon please :]) skittles, cheez-its, reeses, applesauce, and vanilla pudding (sugar ADDED!!! i will enjoy sugar!!!) but im dreaming now...hahha thats a LOT of things to send, and they arent always as cheap as they are here (the walmart lives off us interns. if we werent here, they would be broke. so they keep it low for us :])
WELL school of worship...so much fun! We have these Encouragement partners. they are Graduate Interns who strictly work for School of Worship, not Teen Mania. Its great. I have one of the worship leader dudes. He's "ambient". Im just grateful for such an opportunity.
God has been placing a second year on my heart, despite the hard things Im facing now. and He has been revealing much. This quote he gave me by far is one of the things that push me to go further "Its not abot what we face, but what He does through us." Wow...whenever we face something hard, we just have to keep pushing, keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how hard it is. When we are faithful with the little, God blesses us with much.
my splurge of insight for the post!!
How many of us run? Like actually distance? Honestly before I came here, the only running I did was to the bathroom and to the fridge. believe it or not, I broke my own records. 2 secs to the bathroom and 3.14 to the fridge (includes the cool slide pose).
Here...Im running daily. And I mean RUNNING! Like the people you see 4am everyday who run in the cold, ya those. I joined those crazy people when I became an intern. I admit it wasnt the greatest thing to do instead of sleep, but it was ok.
There have been days where Im running, and it hurts...so I stopped running and walked. Did this every day...and I found myself running less and less. I was confused, and just ignored it, thinking Im just tired. Oh and the days you run and its cold...it gets exciting when you cant feel your face. Like someone could slap you, and you wouldnt know except for the fact your face just turned a direction.(I was accidently hit) Yesterday, the death of my grandfather wasn't apparent. He was one to drive me to push, and I always would when I knew he was watching. It made me strong and feel accomplished. Well today, we had to run 3 mi. I couldnt finish 1 without stopping, so I just ran. Had a partner this time who encouraged me to push. So i pushed. Set small goals for myself to make it to. Once I passed them, Id say "Alright, a little further". he would tell me how great I was doing. And I kept pushing, giving it everything I got.
About the 2 mi...i knew I was at my end. I couldnt push, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other..thinking that God wants my flesh disciplined, not comfortable. So I pushed. and pushed. It hurt, my knees almost gave way. the hills we ran would make the burning in my thighs and calves explode. but I wouldnt stop. I kne wonce I would, i would never pick back up the pace...it was weird because it wasnt me saying that, it was the Holy Spirit saying "Push! Push! If you let up now, you will not know what it feels to have given it everything you got!" but it was in suggestion form. giving me the choice and power to act upon what was suggested.
I was on the last loop, and a thought came into my head.."Papa Jack...he pushed me...he is prob in heaven watching me push. Encouraging me from there to just push a bit more." This gave some inspiration. And singing a line from We Won't Be Quiet by David Crowder "No! No! No, No, No!" on the hills helped with pacing.
Needless to say, i didnt stop and I finished the 3 mi. Once I finished, I was wiped. I could barely walk, and breakfast never tasted SO GOOD!! :)
Then I thought something...Jesus and Papa Jack smiling. Having watched that I pushed and wouldn't quit. I cried a little and smiled. The realization that he was gone hit, but was met with such joy I couldnt be sad for long, because I knew he was proud. and Jesus was proud along with him.
How many times do we not push until everything we got is gone, and then some? Do we often lose sight of the reward that awaits us, great or small? I think we just forget what it means to push... just putting one foot in front of the other and not slowing down. How much more should we apply this to our lives in the spiritual sense? Pushing through hard times and seeking Jesus' face. Disciplining our bodies to do the Will of the Father. Loving those who just hurt us, instead of retailiating. Letting go of people we love, even though we know what they are doing is wrong or not beneficial. Tursting that the ones we love hear God for themselves, and will one day have to account for themselves and must grow some with only them and God. From experience, nothing beats the feeling of giving it your all and finishing. Its one I know I will experience many times, my last being my walk with Jesus when I see Him face to face and Im sobbing at the sight of how I didnt quit.
Monday, January 19, 2009
what waterfalls and sadness share...the pouring of water
If you can relate to one thing with most people, its the loss of a loved one. This morning my step-grandfather passed away unexpectedly. The sadder part was, they were going to visit my family this upcoming week. Its one of life's ways of saying, "Time is never guarenteed."
I noticed how even though I was sad, God was doing something. I was seeing joy through the pain. I knew who to go to. I knew what to do, I had to lean on my "Dad" and just express my feelings. I didnt cry, but I was saddened and wrote how I felt. I took it as a reminder as why every moment we spend on earth counts. Because even though we are healthy, we may suddenly have a problem and never know. This only added to my burdens this week, but I refuse to make this a pity party blog. This is about growth, and growth hurts.
It's proven. If it doesnt hurt, its not stretching. For instance muscles. If you dont work them properly and hard enough, they will never grow stronger. The harder you push, the more gains you receive! (all within reason). I take all thats happened to me recently as that. It's making me stronger. It's breaking me, and God is building me back up in humility and prayer through Him. A quote from a poem I wrote is fitting more and more everyday! "It's not about what we face, but what He does through us." Following God never means going the safe and easy route; in fact the more I follow, the more I find it just gets harder! It breaks more and more from our hard hearts to a place where we recognize breathing is a feat allowed and gracefully given from God. I came here because God called me, and I asked to grow stronger.
Well I dont want to go in a rant. I have work. Phone lines are working again.
Peace, Love, Joy
I noticed how even though I was sad, God was doing something. I was seeing joy through the pain. I knew who to go to. I knew what to do, I had to lean on my "Dad" and just express my feelings. I didnt cry, but I was saddened and wrote how I felt. I took it as a reminder as why every moment we spend on earth counts. Because even though we are healthy, we may suddenly have a problem and never know. This only added to my burdens this week, but I refuse to make this a pity party blog. This is about growth, and growth hurts.
It's proven. If it doesnt hurt, its not stretching. For instance muscles. If you dont work them properly and hard enough, they will never grow stronger. The harder you push, the more gains you receive! (all within reason). I take all thats happened to me recently as that. It's making me stronger. It's breaking me, and God is building me back up in humility and prayer through Him. A quote from a poem I wrote is fitting more and more everyday! "It's not about what we face, but what He does through us." Following God never means going the safe and easy route; in fact the more I follow, the more I find it just gets harder! It breaks more and more from our hard hearts to a place where we recognize breathing is a feat allowed and gracefully given from God. I came here because God called me, and I asked to grow stronger.
Well I dont want to go in a rant. I have work. Phone lines are working again.
Peace, Love, Joy
Thursday, January 15, 2009
YAY!!!!
LIKE AHH!! ITS A GOOD DAY!! Jesus is the Rememdy...yesterday was really hard. I dunno why but I felt distant and dry. but I went to worship, and WHOO!! I got a reminder oh how much Jesus Loves me!! Its Joy to know He is my Remedy for this passing world!!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The shattered jar now spills its perfume
Brokeness....its as rough as it sounds.
I have been facing many personal issues alone. Ones I need to have my heart changed for. In fact, the more I look at what CHrist wants the more Im convinced it requires a heart change. What I cant believe is how much I need changing, but Thank God Im not alone!!
So...these past couple of days have been very breaking. Work, new room, everything. Even how I act is being critiqued...its good but not always the best thing to hear, especially after 5am workouts in 22 degree weather. But oh well, persevere and strangth comes.
Im actually grateful Im here. I met great people. I have a great female friend named Kayla Chappell...(yes the same pronounciation as Dave Chappell) she's from Oregon. In liberty personality terms...i believe SCD...in a personality test (if you know what this means) Flagmatic Melancholly....ya look it up if you know. its too long to explain.
dont freak out I...also meet some great dudes as well. I cant date for a year, so its OK!! sheesh, next thing i know people will be asking about kayla... There's Chuck, Danny, Tyler, Eric, Zack, Zech(pronounced zach), Josh, Tony, and Paul...all but the first are my roommates/core team. They are hilarious!! There is also Andrew and Cheerios...they are so funny!!
Me and Kayla are just sitting here. She is a Vegeterian...so she doesnt eat meat. And after a "we have no time to fully cook the chicken due to wednesday night service going so late" i wont eat chicken for a week...haha.
We are very opposite in personality we found out. Like Im very "HI!" and meet everyone and get out there and just....AHH!!!!...haha. But Kayla is very reserved. She is shy, in fact when I first met her, she was like.."oh.........hi" its hilarious. But we are coffee buddies so its cool.
So ATL....I dont want to see her name on banners when I visit!! OH im planning to visit during easter! YAY!!!!!
I have been facing many personal issues alone. Ones I need to have my heart changed for. In fact, the more I look at what CHrist wants the more Im convinced it requires a heart change. What I cant believe is how much I need changing, but Thank God Im not alone!!
So...these past couple of days have been very breaking. Work, new room, everything. Even how I act is being critiqued...its good but not always the best thing to hear, especially after 5am workouts in 22 degree weather. But oh well, persevere and strangth comes.
Im actually grateful Im here. I met great people. I have a great female friend named Kayla Chappell...(yes the same pronounciation as Dave Chappell) she's from Oregon. In liberty personality terms...i believe SCD...in a personality test (if you know what this means) Flagmatic Melancholly....ya look it up if you know. its too long to explain.
dont freak out I...also meet some great dudes as well. I cant date for a year, so its OK!! sheesh, next thing i know people will be asking about kayla... There's Chuck, Danny, Tyler, Eric, Zack, Zech(pronounced zach), Josh, Tony, and Paul...all but the first are my roommates/core team. They are hilarious!! There is also Andrew and Cheerios...they are so funny!!
Me and Kayla are just sitting here. She is a Vegeterian...so she doesnt eat meat. And after a "we have no time to fully cook the chicken due to wednesday night service going so late" i wont eat chicken for a week...haha.
We are very opposite in personality we found out. Like Im very "HI!" and meet everyone and get out there and just....AHH!!!!...haha. But Kayla is very reserved. She is shy, in fact when I first met her, she was like.."oh.........hi" its hilarious. But we are coffee buddies so its cool.
So ATL....I dont want to see her name on banners when I visit!! OH im planning to visit during easter! YAY!!!!!
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