So my work supervisor almost died in the most hilarious ways. He's on a caffeine high. We got a milder coffee, which tends to have a higher caffeine content (I dunno why, ask God...its just that way). So, he's bouncing around on an office chair. Saying things like "This floor is attracting my body." "How did you mess this up? It goes Mon, Thurs, Friday, Tues, Wed, Sat...we dont work Saturday!!!" and the classic "Why are you here? GET OUT!! *then almost causes chair to fall backwards*) He has a slightly high pitched voice...so imagine that.
Work dragged, I cannot enjoy coffee for another week and a half :( sad day when you have two pounds of Starbucks coffee waiting to be out in your personal french press. Ah....coffee....and Im craving apple juice and ants on a log(the celery with peanut butter and raisins(sp?)) OH and ramen.........oh buddy ramen is good. Saves me when Im hungry.
So I will not be ashamed to ask this...care packages with Nutrigrain bars (oats and honey and cinnamon please :]) skittles, cheez-its, reeses, applesauce, and vanilla pudding (sugar ADDED!!! i will enjoy sugar!!!) but im dreaming now...hahha thats a LOT of things to send, and they arent always as cheap as they are here (the walmart lives off us interns. if we werent here, they would be broke. so they keep it low for us :])
WELL school of worship...so much fun! We have these Encouragement partners. they are Graduate Interns who strictly work for School of Worship, not Teen Mania. Its great. I have one of the worship leader dudes. He's "ambient". Im just grateful for such an opportunity.
God has been placing a second year on my heart, despite the hard things Im facing now. and He has been revealing much. This quote he gave me by far is one of the things that push me to go further "Its not abot what we face, but what He does through us." Wow...whenever we face something hard, we just have to keep pushing, keep putting one foot in front of the other, no matter how hard it is. When we are faithful with the little, God blesses us with much.
my splurge of insight for the post!!
How many of us run? Like actually distance? Honestly before I came here, the only running I did was to the bathroom and to the fridge. believe it or not, I broke my own records. 2 secs to the bathroom and 3.14 to the fridge (includes the cool slide pose).
Here...Im running daily. And I mean RUNNING! Like the people you see 4am everyday who run in the cold, ya those. I joined those crazy people when I became an intern. I admit it wasnt the greatest thing to do instead of sleep, but it was ok.
There have been days where Im running, and it hurts...so I stopped running and walked. Did this every day...and I found myself running less and less. I was confused, and just ignored it, thinking Im just tired. Oh and the days you run and its cold...it gets exciting when you cant feel your face. Like someone could slap you, and you wouldnt know except for the fact your face just turned a direction.(I was accidently hit) Yesterday, the death of my grandfather wasn't apparent. He was one to drive me to push, and I always would when I knew he was watching. It made me strong and feel accomplished. Well today, we had to run 3 mi. I couldnt finish 1 without stopping, so I just ran. Had a partner this time who encouraged me to push. So i pushed. Set small goals for myself to make it to. Once I passed them, Id say "Alright, a little further". he would tell me how great I was doing. And I kept pushing, giving it everything I got.
About the 2 mi...i knew I was at my end. I couldnt push, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other..thinking that God wants my flesh disciplined, not comfortable. So I pushed. and pushed. It hurt, my knees almost gave way. the hills we ran would make the burning in my thighs and calves explode. but I wouldnt stop. I kne wonce I would, i would never pick back up the pace...it was weird because it wasnt me saying that, it was the Holy Spirit saying "Push! Push! If you let up now, you will not know what it feels to have given it everything you got!" but it was in suggestion form. giving me the choice and power to act upon what was suggested.
I was on the last loop, and a thought came into my head.."Papa Jack...he pushed me...he is prob in heaven watching me push. Encouraging me from there to just push a bit more." This gave some inspiration. And singing a line from We Won't Be Quiet by David Crowder "No! No! No, No, No!" on the hills helped with pacing.
Needless to say, i didnt stop and I finished the 3 mi. Once I finished, I was wiped. I could barely walk, and breakfast never tasted SO GOOD!! :)
Then I thought something...Jesus and Papa Jack smiling. Having watched that I pushed and wouldn't quit. I cried a little and smiled. The realization that he was gone hit, but was met with such joy I couldnt be sad for long, because I knew he was proud. and Jesus was proud along with him.
How many times do we not push until everything we got is gone, and then some? Do we often lose sight of the reward that awaits us, great or small? I think we just forget what it means to push... just putting one foot in front of the other and not slowing down. How much more should we apply this to our lives in the spiritual sense? Pushing through hard times and seeking Jesus' face. Disciplining our bodies to do the Will of the Father. Loving those who just hurt us, instead of retailiating. Letting go of people we love, even though we know what they are doing is wrong or not beneficial. Tursting that the ones we love hear God for themselves, and will one day have to account for themselves and must grow some with only them and God. From experience, nothing beats the feeling of giving it your all and finishing. Its one I know I will experience many times, my last being my walk with Jesus when I see Him face to face and Im sobbing at the sight of how I didnt quit.
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